Biologists call this the pair-bond. We’ve institutionalized it as marriage. The bad news is our pair-bond is designed to last for as long as it takes our offspring to reach some level of independence.
Genes aren’t designed to make us happy. They design us to make more copies of themselves. (p.16)
In all social species with pair-bonds, females are attracted to evidence that males display a chance for
power in the community. (p.27)
Female macaque monkeys are attracted to power, but even more so to signs of potential power. (p.28)
But remember, a woman needs a Pleistocene provider for fifteen years at least, so it doesn’t do her much good to marry the 70- year-old chief of the tribe. The Anna Nicole Smith strategy could be a problem if the old chief kicks off while she’s breast feeding and a new chief inherits his status. Women must predict future chiefs, so women are less attracted to power than ambition for future power. Girls in fairy tales hung their hopes not on the king but the prince. Remember guys, the car you drive is not as sexy as how driven you are. (p.30)
Money didn’t even exist a million years ago. The real Pleistocene currency by which a hunter was ranked was not cash but attention. (p.42)
Humans compete less for territory than for rank. Territory and possessions are only symbols of rank. The attention of the tribe is a kind of psychic territory where we harvest the resources we cooperative apes need to survive. He who controls the attention is high status and sexually attractive. ( p.43)
Among species that don’t have pair-bonds, female sexual jealousy does not exist. (...) When pair-bonds do exist, however, as with many birds and some mammals, females compete viciously to secure long-term bonds with males. (p.45)
The environmental dynamics that created our emotions have changed, but the emotions have not. (p.47)
A woman loves a diamond ring because of what it symbolizes: a man promising to nest-invest. If it ain’t expensive, you ain’t investing. (p.48)
Freud analyzed men’s madonna/whore complex thusly: “Where they love they cannot desire; where they desire they cannot love.” Well, it’s not that bad, Sigmund. Men feel lust and love for the same woman all the time, but only when she embodies a man’s two reproductive goals: baby-birthing bodies and baby-rearing behaviors. Good bodies and good mothers don’t always go together, which is why every man has a playboy and a father in his genes. Good genes and good fathers don’t always come in the same man, which is why every woman has a concubine and a wife in her genes. (p53-54)
I learned early that the only reason men do anything is for women. (p.60)
The creepy thing about the T-shirt study is that women who were on birth control pills found their repulsions and attractions reversed. Women on the pill respond to immune systems that are similar to their own and are repulsed by immune systems they would be attracted to if they were not on the pill. Why? Because the pill prevents pregnancy by simulating the physiological symptoms of pregnancy.
The only other women who show this reversed response are pregnant women. Pregnant women prefer the scents of immune systems similar to their own because they need pregnancy support, and they are likely to get that from relatives. When you are pregnant, you feel the urge to be with family. Then when you are fertile again, you prefer to be around friends. When you are pregnant, scent preference is to get you support (resources). When you are fertile, scent preference is to get you sex (genes). Again we see the two separable evolutionary goals emerging in female feelings.
Guys, this is how you monitor the rhythm method: when your woman is wearing your shirt and rolling around on your pillowcase like it’s chick nip, it means she’s ovulating. Stay away or she’ll get pregnant. When she’s throwing away the sweaty socks you’ve left out for her enjoyment, telling you you’re disgusting, and inviting her relatives over, it’s safe to have sex with her. When she’s in the mood, don’t do it. When she’s not in the mood, it’s safe to do it. (p122-123)
Ladies, if he’s got a good immune system, he doesn’t need a job. The wife strategy wants resources. The concubine strategy wants healthy genes. (p.124)
Here’s how it works. A woman’s orgasm can either block sperm or suck sperm deeper inside. It depends on how you time it. If a woman orgasms more than one minute before male ejaculation, her orgasm will block his sperm. If she orgasms just before the male ejaculates, she is sucking sperm toward her ovaries.
But men usually orgasm either too soon or even more too soon. Who can predict? Don’t worry, girls, you don’t need to be psychic. Mother Nature has provided you with a backup plan. If your guy orgasms first, you must orgasm within forty-five minutes to suck sperm deeper inside. If you wait forty-five minutes, then orgasm, you’re blocking his sperm again.
Guys, enter her bed with a stopwatch and find out how much she likes you. Simultaneous orgasms mean that not only does the female like you, her orgasms like you. It’s hard to get them to agree, but it’s easier to achieve impregnation if you seduce both. If she orgasms too soon or too late, she doesn’t want your sperm, she wants your support. (p136-137)
Remember, ladies: hot for the power suit? That’s a wife strategy for resources. Hot for the immune system? That’s a concubine strategy for genes. (p.140)
Women feel more jealous over emotional attachment than sexual infidelity. Men feel more jealous over sexual infidelity than emotional attachment. Women worry about their mates having illicit sex to the extent it might lead to emotional bonds. Men worry about their mate’s forming emotional bonds with men to the extent it might lead to illicit sex. (p.163)
The evolution of sociality causes the evolution of sexual attraction to danger. Why? Kin try to control whom you mate with. Genes tell you to mix with foreigners. If your kin network disapproves of your lover, that’s a sure sign that your lover has foreign genes. And there’s nothing sexier, and more dangerous, than a stranger. (p.171)
In the design of organisms, Mother Nature shows again and again that sex is more important than survival. If genes for risking your life for a brief moment of passion get you more surviving offspring than genes for staying alive, suicidal sexual behaviors will become prevalent in the population, even to the point of male spiders sacrificing their butts to the sexy female jaws of death. (p.176)
But male instincts are constructed to preserve family genes. You don’t want to share your wife with just anyone. When there’s not enough land to divvy up between brothers, two brothers will
work the same land and tend the same woman. (p.179)
In cultures with no territory left to conquer, brothers all mate with one female and each raises the offspring as his own. (p.180)
Polyandry prevents war. Population growth must be restricted, or famine will ensue. Men will start wars to prevent other men from having sex with their wives, yet brothers will share wives to prevent war. Our emotions usually provoke us to do what is best for our genes. (p.180)
We easily forget that it’s not the number of direct offspring that matters but the percentage of genes passed on. If you can pass on more of your genes by sharing a wife with your brother, you’ll evolve to be turned on by your brother diddling your wife. If you have territory to expand into and extra females to win, you’d rather kill your brother than let him diddle your wife. (p.182)
Again and again in evolutionary biology, we see how animal behavior is elucidated by gene equations. Set up the parameters, run your equation through the computer, predict the behavior. Whatever works out best for genes ends up constructing our emotions. Evolutionary biologists already have gene equations that predict various forms of cooperation, competition, self-sacrifice, family love, and hostility. (p.183)
So here’s how it divvies up: where there is lots of vegetable food, there are men with multiple wives; where there is little vegetable food, there are women with multiple husbands. (p.183)
Also, ladies, to get extra men working to support you, you don’t need the perfect body. You just need to move the body you got to the culture where it’s most appreciated. ( p.184)
In well-fed cultures, thin women are preferred, because it’s harder to be thin. In poorly-fed cultures, fat women are preferred, because it’s harder to be fat. No matter where you go, men prefer
the shape that’s hardest to be. (p.186)
I’ve got more bad news for the married. Monogamous primate penises tend to be tiny. The faithful owl monkey male might as well not even have a penis, it’s so dinky. Promiscuous primate penises tend to be huge because of competition to deliver sperm closer to the target. Next time your wife claims she’s faithful, point to your penis and say, “Oh yeah? Then how come my dick is so big?” Next time your husband swears he was out with the boys, say, “Prove it! Show me your tiny owl monkey penis!” (p.197)
Certainly big muscles are more important to men than to women. That’s because muscles served more to intimidate men than attract women. If penis size conferred status among hominid males, and status led to more surviving offspring, then male choice might also have had a hand in sculpting the penis. ( p.198)
Every man supports feminism to the extent he thinks it will get him laid. ( p.232)
(Joe Quirk --- It’s Not You,It’s Biology )
